Put simply, because I have to. I’m doing a Masters in Writing for Script and Screen at Falmouth University. I’ve been told self reflection and keeping a journal is a key constituent of academic study.

This may be obvious to many but it’s been some 20 years since I was last a student. I’m a working dad living in London doing the devil’s work making TV commercials. I have a job. I have a wife. I have kids. I have a mortgage and 28 direct debits to pay (I’m working on getting those down). But because I’m a sado-masochist I thought that wasn’t enough and decided to become a student again. Which as it turns out is much more work than I anticipated.

The thing is self-reflection is something that historically I’ve tried to avoid. No one really wants to dig around in the back of the cupboard for fear of what you might find. A jar of mouldy regret. A tin of out of date dreams. A large multi-pack of personal limitations. There’s so many of them!

Ok fine. Let’s just do this. The reason I’m putting myself through this is I’ve always written but I’ve never been particularly good at it. A couple of years ago I did a directing short course in London and the first thing we had to do was a skills audit. And hey, whaddya know, there were a few gaps in my resume. It turns out I was a very good technical director, a good organiser and a good collaborator. But as it turned out my knowledge of story was patchy at best. Sure I’ve read Robert McKee and listen regularly to the Script Notes podcast. But it turns out that’s not enough. It turns out that you can’t just absorb writing knowledge and craft through osmosis.

You have to work at it. You have to read. You have to write. You have to study. So here I am. I’m a student again. Self-reflecting.